ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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