sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
