are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize