i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
