yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
