how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
