Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
