Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
