I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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