You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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