i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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