So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
not ubering you a puppy
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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