I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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