I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
