I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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