When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
