i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize