The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
