So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
