if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
