She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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