Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
