I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
