1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize