Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
