I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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