im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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