last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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