just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
