the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize