He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
