It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
