just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
