chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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