haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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