so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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