Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
