The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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