I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
