He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
