fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
