Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
