Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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