we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
