Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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