Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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