Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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