Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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