The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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