I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm always down for nudity.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
