i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
