im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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