do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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