I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
