after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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