we're blogging at a bar
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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