we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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