Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
