he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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