That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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