My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
