College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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