you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
