What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
