I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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