I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
