ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I will pee on everything he values.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
