There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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